I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I need to calm my uterus...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
