god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
