You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is it penis luge time yet?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
