I wish I could teleport
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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