If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
