obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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