Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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