can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
