so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
