I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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