I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
