are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
