There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
