Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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