Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
