i wish my penis had a tongue
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
