If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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