he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
