How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
