wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize