with your own penis?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize
