im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
