His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
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tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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