I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
