awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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