My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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