Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
