Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Dick very happy bro
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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