You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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