My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
