problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
