Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
