I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
