"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you would pick up someone in the library
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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