dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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