Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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