If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
