Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
