he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have feelings that need drinking.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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