i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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