she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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