i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
