Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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