Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He shit in the fireplace
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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