Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
