So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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