I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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