Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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