Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
