Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
