there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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