The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
