careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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