he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
