I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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