if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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