it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
