how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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