Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
