you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
