he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize