Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
